It's been a while since my last post, and in a moment you'll understand why. It's not that I don't have any thoughts on anything meaningful; quite the opposite in fact. Last weekend I attended a simulcast at church that really moved me. I could blog about that. The week before that our new president was elected, and I could certainly blog about my opinion on that. Christmas and the holiday season are upon us, and I could go into some serious detail about my growing dislike for the commercialism and consumerism of it all (please, don't get me started!!!). But, the last couple weeks have also been so chaotic! To start, I've been fighting a cold for the last 2 weeks, and all I want to do is sleep. Well, it's not bad enough to take off work to sleep, so at night, after I watch mind-numbing television for a while to wind down after my chaotic workday, I've been crashing hard and even so having trouble waking up in the morning. Then, when I do wake up, there's no time for lollygagging. In other words, gotta get er done!!!
To clarify, my days go something like this: My alarm goes off at about 7:00. I roll out of my warm bed (full of children..I don't even realize that they come in in the middle of the night and somehow consume every spare portion of bed, leaving me in danger of falling off the edge), coughing and barely able to breathe (due to said lingering cold), and I do a quick workout. Then I go back upstairs to peel the kids out of bed and fight with them for 15 minutes about getting dressed. Mikayla hates wearing anything but dresses or skirts, so every day, when I ask her to put on some jeans because it's going to be cold, she pouts and tells me that she won't look cute in jeans. Seriously, who taught her that? Certainly not her jeans-loving, skirt-hating mother. Forget the more sobering fact that she is only 6 but is already self-conscious about how she looks...
After the kids have gotten dressed, they eat breakfast, and then when it's time to leave for whatever reason it takes them 10 minutes to get jackets and gloves and backpacks, money for school, (I feel like I'm always sending them a check for something), homework, library books, etc. By that time everyone is frustrated and the tension is so thick that no one is happy. I'm sure the kids get over it, but the constant struggle with them in the morning drains me for the rest of the day.
When everyone is gone, I get my morning fix of coffee and go down into the basement for some quality one-on-one time with my computer and this is where I spend most of my day. As I type about total knee replacements, hernia repairs, double amputations, liposuction, and, my favorite (sarcasm), breast augmentation, my mind wanders and I dream about things to come and things that I want to expect, hoping that someday these things won't be just dreams but realities...and then I remember what I'm doing...i.e. making a necessary paycheck...NOT making a difference.
Then, when the kids get home, it's back to chaos with homework and sharing toys and doing chores until their bedtime, which, in itself is chaos, with the girls yelling down at me every 5 minutes when they're supposed to be sleeping....
Not all of it is bad chaos. Some of it is actually really good chaos. Like when my kids and I act silly together and when I watch them put on shows and scramble to clean up for a dollar. But chaos nonetheless...and through it I try to remain focused on one thing: The strength to do God's will in the midst of the chaos, and the perseverence to remember that greater things have yet to come, despite the chaos.
1 comment:
At least you get away for awhile tomorrow for "Twilight."
And on a side note, the only way I am able to write this is with Ellie watching "Party in My Tummy" while I type. So I totally get not having a spare minute for yourself - and I only have *one* kid! And, I haven't updated my blog in forever, either.
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